Category: This Is My Life

Living in a Material World (When You’re Not a Material Girl): Part 2

So, the world is obsessed with our weight. (It’s also obsessed with our age, our youthful appearance or the lack thereof, our incomes, and our political affiliations.) It has its own opinion of us, but we have to embrace that, while other people may hold their opinions of us, those opinions are not facts.

I wish the world was more concerned with the condition of our hearts, but that’s not the job of the world. That’s God’s job. In part one of this post, I shared what the world says about us in regard to our weight. Now, I want to share some descriptions that God, who made us, has used about us. These are not just my imaginings…they’re from His holy scripture. If you click on the words (underlined and highlighted in blue), you can read the scripture that addresses each of these descriptions. These are God’s opinions of us, and His opinion is the only opinion that is a FACT.

God does not make worthless thing

If Jesus is our Savior, each of us is God’s child. We are friends and confidantes of Jesus. We have been justified and redeemed by grace so that we are blameless. Because we are set free from the laws of sin and death, we are fellow heirs to God’s throne. God has called us saints (God’s holy people) who have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.  God loves us so much that He has sent His Spirit to live in us. We can live in victory and triumph over all things because we belong to Him — there is no such thing as defeat when you are a child of God! We are part of God’s plan and He has made us promise keepers! We are chosen, holy, and loved.

If you grew up in Sunday School, I’ll guess that you were taught the story of creation many times in your life. There are reasons we read, re-read, and re-study God’s word — there are lessons to be learned every time. There are nuances that we may miss or that God chooses to reveal to us at different times in our spiritual lives. I want to share something that I believe God revealed to me in a study of Genesis while I was teaching a class for three-year-olds about two years ago. This was not an accident. This was an on-purpose, God-delivered, simple revelation that He sent to me right before my own health crisis was revealed during a medical appointment in June 2015. It changed my whole perspective about how God sees us, His creation…His handiwork.

I love that, after God made each part of His creation, He surveyed His work and declared it good. Of course it was good! God made it.

On that sixth day of creation, God made humans. He wasn’t arbitrary about our composition. He didn’t wing it and hope He came up with something that was pleasing. He made us in His own image! And when He had made us and surveyed his work, He didn’t just declare that we were good, He said that we were very good.

Why is that important?

It’s important because who we look like in our physical selves is a defining factor about who we are individually. If you observe parents with their children, especially after a baby is born, someone is always trying to see who the baby looks like. Sharing physical looks with parents or other family members helps us know who we are and to whom we belong.

Despite all the physical factors that come together to give us our facial features, body type, and body components, we ultimately ALL look like God because we were created in His image. To be fully and completely His, is to accept how God’s made us physically and become like Him spiritually by becoming more like Christ.

Thomas-Merton-Quote-To-say-that-I-am-made-in-the-image-of-God-is

The world will never get that. It’s why we cannot be agents of this world, conformed to its ways and slaves to its obsessions. It’s why I will never be a material girl, even though I live in this material world. I am God’s masterpiece, His very good handiwork. So are you, friends.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, else matters.

shr

 

 

 

 

The Situation

Thank you for those that have been faithful and kept reading the blog’s archives while I was away.  I stepped away from the blog for a year because I needed a spiritual renewal. I felt that I couldn’t share anything worthwhile with you until I got my own spiritual heart beating in sync with God again.

During the past year, I’ve also concentrated on the writing course I’ve been taking online for the last two years.  I prayed for God to open the doors and promised that I wouldn’t hesitate to walk through them.  That was an epic fail. I vigorously argued with God in that arena. And lost. Decided I was wasting precious efforts in the arguing and have walked  through those open doors (mostly — hey, I’m human, which means I’m flawed).

The next open door is an invitation to write my first YA novel, one that’s been in my heart and mind since I was 12 years old.  I’m in the active planning stage (meaning, I’m writing stuff on sticky notes, putting up on a storyboard, and doing lots of research) instead of the “just thinking about it stage,” which is, itself, a job that all writers have.  But if I never write it down, revising and negotiating with my characters and their storylines, then it’s just daydreaming and not constructively moving me toward my goal. I have a wonderful Christian writer/editor, Mary Ryan, who is my teacher in the course,  and who encouraged me to go into the Christian fiction genre (one of those open doors I found easy to walk through).

On my personal seeking journey, I wrote the following devotional.  I wrote it for me, but I hope there are others like me out there who need a gentle prompting to be aware of God’s presence in every life situation.

You will find me sharing Scripture from Isaiah frequently. It falls among my favorite books of the Bible, including Jeremiah, Psalms, Proverbs, and Ephesians. I have been devouring the book of Isaiah for the past two months.

Seek the Lord while you may find Him. Call upon Him now while He is near. Isaiah 55:6 (NLT)

I became a Christian at the tender age of nine. I knew and believed the story of my salvation, but I was a “baby” Christian (seeing God’s Word in simplistic, juvenile ways) for a long while — even into my early 30s. I was fed a great deal of “milk” during that time because I couldn’t grasp the real, deep meaning of some of what God had written in His Instruction Book. And to be honest, I wasn’t looking too hard.

Having children changed that. Kids tend to ask a great many “why” questions — surprisingly-deep spiritual questions. At their young age, I could feed them “milk” answers, but in my heart I knew I was going to have to change if I wanted them to be more than “milk feeders”. I decided that I wanted to have a “meat and potatoes” kind of relationship with God — a hardy relationship that forced me into His Word and into His will.  It was hard, but I had the guidance of many God-fearing, scripture-quoting, patient teachers who helped me change my spiritual diet.

If you look at this verse from Isaiah, two questions may bounce around in your head:
Why do I have to find God; doesn’t He know where I am?
Isn’t God always near?

First, God knows where we are at all times, but the reason we often have to seek for (or find) God is because we’re on a journey manufactured by our own devices. We choose our wisdom over that of the omnipotent, almighty Father. We might be in the same BOOK, but not on the same PAGE as God. (Sometimes I was in the wrong LIBRARY in the wrong CITY in the wrong COUNTRY. I know what’s it like to that wrong!)

Secondly, when we are far apart from God, GUESS WHO MOVED? Yep. We did. Detours take us off the path of righteousness and lead us into the depths of despair, depression, and loneliness. BEING APART FROM GOD IS A PUNISHMENT THAT WE INFLICT UPON OURSELVES! God never moves! Thank goodness, He’s never-changing!

The great redemptive glory is the moment we drop on our knees and repent, asking for God to take over and to gather us into His warm, loving embrace — a hug, of sorts, for comfort and healing — He pulls up His “moving van” and moves us to his “home base” immediately.  If you’ll let him, he’ll leave all the extraneous, misguided misinformation behind and set you on a path of righteousness.

My life was completely changed when I gave God control and let Him lead me. I don’t always get it right, but I know enough to recognize the signs when I’m wrong — even when it goes against the popular choice of others. Not allowing God to lead you is like letting “the carrot lead the stick,” as my friend Pastor Eddie Brookshire would say.

I don’t know when He’s coming back, but Jesus IS coming back. It’s imperative that you seek Him while you still have time to find Him. That’s a call for URGENCY!

Calling on Him while He is near is a DIRECTIONAL REMINDER to only go through doors that are opened by God. It insures you will remain in His will and the promptings of the Holy Spirit will be easier to feel; the “still small voice of God” will be heard more clearly.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SITUATION WHERE YOU HAD TO LET GOD MOVE YOU BACK INTO HIS WILL? If so, please share your journey in the comments.

I’m praying for you! If you’d like me and my church to pray for you, please leave your request, with details if you’d like, or just leave the word “unspoken” in the comment space.

Have a blessed day. And remember, if God’s not changing your situation, He’s using your situation to change you!

shr

Can I Pray for You?

Pain. It’s my constant companion. Sometimes, it’s containable. Sometimes it runs roughshod and I get beaten up in the process. I am thankful for doctors who have guided me along the way with therapy and medications that allow me to function as normally as I possibly can. God sends blessings to me from every direction.

In this pain, I found that I must go on with what lies in front of me because I cannot curl up in a ball and wait for it to go away. I used to look at this chronic pain as a curse. I was angry with God for many years. Then He opened my eyes and showed me all the things that I’ve been blessed with because of this condition. It took me a while, but I began to see how God has moved in my life because of this pain — how it’s made me a more compassionate person who feels the pain of others deeply. Being able to show my empathy is a great blessing. I’ve been called to reach out to others, as we all have, but God has taken this pain of mine and made it a source of LOVE instead of LOATHING.

Image Source:  www.fbresearch.org

There are other kinds of pain that have come along with my physical pain. I have also recognized that this is a blessing because it has made me more aware of the hearts of those who are hurting in ways that cannot be seen. I have learned to be kind to everyone I meet because there are those who are bearing their own burdens. If a word or smile or touch from me can make a difference, then I ask God to put me in the path of those who need it most.

Image Source:  www.juxtapost.com

Throughout the past twenty-two years in this journey tinged with pain, Jesus has been my anchor EVERY SINGLE DAY — even on those days when I couldn’t speak the words out loud. Jesus knew my heart and He could hear the prayers of my heart.

My dear friends, He knows your heart as well. He sees your hurt and fears. He longs to comfort you. Your name is on His lips.

Image Source:  www.endtimeprophecy1012-2013.blogspot,com

Each Friday, some wonderful prayer warrior friends and I hold a prayer service.  (FRIDAY AT THE ALTAR (11am EST/8am PST).)  Can we pray for you?

If you just want to be added to the prayer list just leave your name here or go to “Loved by the King” (my companion Facebook page) and click LIKE. If you have a specific prayer request, leave a comment with a the request. If it’s an intensely personal request, you can email me or message me on Facebook. Most of all, I ask that you join with me in corporate prayer for everyone who’s asked for prayer.  The list is long and I never remove a name unless an answer has been sent or unless I’m asked to remove it.  And you don'[t have to know who is on the prayer list because God does and He knows their needs. ‪

Will you join us?

shr

“I Will Rise” (Chris Tomlin)

How I Survived Thanksgiving 2012 (And STILL Lost Weight)

Come into His city with songs of thanksgiving and into His courtyards with songs of praise.  Thank Him and praise His name.  (Psalm 100:4, NCV)

Tomorrow will be two weeks until Thanksgiving Day.  Last year at this time, I’d already made a commitment to God and myself that I was going to get healthy by losing some weight and becoming more active.  I’d lost 7 pounds and I didn’t want to lose my momentum.  I worried about the big noon Thanksgiving meal at my mother’s house and the dinner feast at the Rosser family reunion later that night.  I love Thanksgiving.  It’s my favorite holiday with all my favorite foods.  But last year, I had to come up with a different mindset.  I could not go into either meal unprepared and go at it willy-nilly until I could barely move.

So, I am going to share some of the strategies I applied during the entire holiday season last year.  I hope this gets you into a grateful (not a “plate full”) attitude.  You have two weeks to gear up for it!

Image Source:  www.2013calendarbox.org

1.  Eat something healthy before your big Thanksgiving meal.  I made sure I ate breakfast that morning AND I ate some raw vegetables with light ranch dip before my noon meal.

2.  If your meal is a pot luck meal, make a scrumptious low-fat/low-calorie/low carbohydrate version of a Thanksgiving food you really love.  You can do a recipe search and find all sorts of alternative recipes to replace the high fat/high calorie/high carbohydrate versions of your favorites.  You have two weeks — there’s time to plan it all out, so start now!

Image Source: http://www.runstreet.com

3.  Drink a full glass of water before your meal.  Remember that sometimes we think we’re hungry, but we really need hydration.  It will allow you to eat slowly and recognize that you’re full before you go for seconds (or thirds).

4.  Eat from a small plate.  Okay, for those of you who just rolled your eyes, conquering our cravings involves what we SEE as well as what we EAT.  Make sure you have a rainbow of colors on your plate.  If all your see is white or brown, you are setting yourself up for disaster.  Not only use a smaller plate, eat slowly, sipping water between bites.  Cleanse your palate often so that you can TASTE all that great food.

5.  Sample a couple of bites of all your favorites.  That means if Aunt Suzie Q’s Cranberry Salad isn’t your favorite, don’t put it on your plate.  The sense of deprivation will derail you faster than you may realize.  Say no to anything that you just don’t absolutely love and say yes to a little of the things you that truly make Thanksgiving special to you.

Image Source: http://www.tabledecorationideas.org

6.  If you’re eating from a pot luck or buffet table, peruse every food that’s being offered before making your choices.  If you start at the beginning of the buffet and just take a little of everything, that can set you up for failure.  Some smart choices are raw vegetables with a small portion of dip and lean proteins.  Avoid anything with a crust or puffed pastry.

7.  Don’t skip dessert.  Yes, I just said have dessert.  But choose one dessert and have a small portion of it.  You can employ the “palate cleansing technique” of having several sips of water between bites.  When you’ve had 3-4 bites, drink another full glass of water. (THIS REALLY WORKS!  It’s how I survive pot luck meals at church.)

Image Source: http://www.liveituphealth.com

8.  Avoid stress.  Stress can lead to stress eating — another source of eating plan derailment.  Plan NOW what you’ll be cooking and if there are any dishes that can be made ahead and frozen, do a little each day.  Thaw them in the refrigerator the day before Thanksgiving and cook them on Thanksgiving morning.  You will avoid a mound of unwashed dishes and the stress of cooking ON THE DAY of your Thanksgiving celebration.  You can do a recipe search of great dishes that freeze well.

Image Source: http://www.flickr.com

9.  Avoid/limit alcohol intake.  This is easy for me, as neither of the people who host my Thanksgiving meals serve alcohol.  But I had already made a choice that I’d rather not drink my calories.  When I started my new eating plan on October 23, 2012, I looked at the things I ate and drank that I could give up without suffering too much.  One of those things was the occasional cocktail.  In fact, I’ve only had one cocktail in the last year (when we visited Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville on vacation this summer — you know I couldn’t pass up just one little margarita). Do I miss it?  Not at all.  But I know that some of you will attend parties and feasts where alcohol IS served.  So make a choice ahead of time to only have one cocktail or to have none.  It will save you liquid calories that do not fill up you up.

Asian Turkey Lettuce Wraps (recipe coming Friday, November 15, 2013)

10.  Be bold and introduce some new, healthy foods that just may end up being holiday favorites.  Turkey and dressing is traditional, but it’s not exciting.  Researching foods that are delicious but nutritious is the way to be a “food-inista.”  Be on the cutting edge as a food connoisseur by bringing a dish that’s great, but untried at your Thanksgiving gathering.  You could be the hit of the feast!

Image Source:  www.encouragement100.com

With these techniques, not only did I NOT gain weight during Thanksgiving 2012, I lost an additional 3 pounds by the end of November last year.  On Friday, I plan to bring you some recipes that just may be worth introducing to your family and friends in this holiday season.  Until then, start planning ahead — and be thankful!

shr

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Fighting Fear with Faith and Hope

Bone.  Marrow.  Biopsy.

Three words I hoped I’d never hear again.  But that’s where we were on Wednesday, October 23, 2013 at the UNC Cancer Hospital when Kelly’s blood work numbers came back askew.   Not all the numbers were bad.  In fact, all the numbers were in the normal range — except for the one number that really counts, his absolute neutrophils.  Neutrophils are white blood cells that fight off infection.  Kelly’s neutrophil number was 1, meaning he had about 1,000 of those cells to fight off infection in his body.  That’s a problem because normal absolute neutrophils will range from 1.8 to 7.7.  In July, his absolute neutrophil number was 4.2 — the best it’s been since he went into remission.  When he was diagnosed with leukemia in 2010, his neutrophil number was 0.

Neutrophils.jpgNeutrophils (The most abundant white blood cells in most mammals.)

Image Source:  www.wikipedia.com

When we were discussing options, Dr. Foster looked at Kelly and said, “Another bone marrow biopsy is an option.  I know a biopsy is uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable,” Kelly replied wryly.  “Is when your underwear rides up.  Bone marrow biopsies are excruciating.  But it’s the only way we’ll know for sure what’s going on, so let’s do it.”

So, this past Monday, two years, ten months, and 27 days from the first time he had a bone marrow biopsy, he lay on a gurney at the UNC Cancer Hospital having his sixth one.  He was face down, waiting patiently while Dr. Van (his other cancer doctor) was preparing the site where the needle would be inserted.  I was holding his hand and it just didn’t seem like it was enough, so I got on my knees by the gurney and laid my head next to his so that we could be face to face.

Image Source:  www.riversideonline.com

We prayed.  We cried.  He gasped in pain as they numbed his hip.  Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as Dr. Van used three separate vials to aspirate marrow samples.

Image Source:  www.bing.com

It’s hard to watch the man who is your earthy rock go through so much pain.  It makes you feel so small.  And I remembered several scriptures and began to pray them:

 All you who put your hope in the Lord be strong and brave.  (Psalm 31:24, NCV)

Always respect the Lord.  Then you will have hope for the future, and your wishes will come true. (Proverbs 23:17b-18, NCV)

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  (Isaiah 40:31, NIV)

Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times.  (Roman 12:12, NCV)

When I had no more words, I sang.

I sang “How Great is Our God*” by Chris Tomlin.

I sang “Great is Thy Faithfulness*.”

I sang “He is with Us*,” by Love and the Outcome.

I sang “Amazing Grace*,” which led into “Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone*,” by Chris Tomlin.

We were holding each other’s hands so tightly that our fingers were white.  So I poured out my tears, a language that only God truly understands.  And in near silence, Dr. Van continued to work.

Image Source:  www.bing.com

And Kelly broke the silence, not with a gasp of pain, but with these prayerful words, sung so softly that I might have missed it if I hadn’t been so close to him:

“In seasons of despair and grief, my soul has often found relief… I’ll cast on Him my every care, and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer.*”

Almost immediately, Dr. Van said, “There is power in the Blood.  And I know that you both know that God has this — either way.”

I usually write something about weight loss on Wednesday — physical weight loss.  Today’s post is about losing the weight of a spiritual burden.  I took a great deal of fear with me into that procedure room, but I came out feeling light and full of hope.

What will the biopsy show?  We don’t know.  But we know God’s got this — either way.

*To listen to each song, just click on the title.  “Sweet Hour of Prayer” is sung by George Beverly Shea, who for years was the voice of the music at all the Billy Graham Crusades.  Kelly loves Billy Graham and loved to hear GBS sing.

shr

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Music Monday: He is With Us

In life, there seems to always be a flow of people and things coming into our lives and going out of our lives.  In the past six months, I have experienced a loss in the closeness of two friendships.  It’s painful, especially when I don’t fully understand why the friendships changed.  The absolute worst part is that neither of the friends is completely out of my life.  They are on the fringes and sometimes we all act as if nothing has really changed.

But it doesn’t mean that the change hasn’t taken place.  I’ve cried over this so many times.  I’ve prayed for God to restore the friendships.  I do not know what the future has in store for us, but I read this in an online devotional:

Image Source:  www.kootation.com

Right now, I just have to let go.  There is nothing more that I can do.  For right now, it seems the Lord has put a “period” at the end of these friendships.  So, I’ve removed the question mark and I am living in His peace about the situation.

How fortunate that in the same span of time, God has brought me closer to two other friends:  an old friend of mine and a brand-new friend.  These friendships have just blossomed and I am thankful for God’s love and care.  These two women have brought a new depth of love and devotion in my life.  We work closely together for the Lord and we find joy in serving others.

Image Source:  www.idlehearts.com

The one constant in my life is my Lord.  I love the book of Joshua.  In the very first chapter, God is assuring Joshua of His love, support, and constant presence.

No one will be able to defeat you all your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forget you. ( Joshua 1:5 NCV — emphasis mine)

So on this Monday, I share a song that is relatively new and has quickly become one of my favorites.  I find myself singing its chorus throughout the day.  Let it remind you, that no matter what is happening in your life, God is there.  He is our salvation and strength.  But He is also our Friend.

Sandy

He is With Us (Love & the Outcome)

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Music Monday: Hurricane

Life has recently felt a bit disjointed, a little crazy, a little out of control, and a lot nonstop for me.  When I arose this morning, I felt run-down and a bit like an over-done steak.  Ever been there?  Are you there right now?

 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

Once, I ran out of gas driving my little blue Subaru in the days when I was first teaching school.  That was way before cell phones.  It wasn’t dark, but it was close.  I was on my way home from school and just about half a mile from my exit on Interstate 95 when the car sputtered, puttered, and I guided it off the road as it rolled to a stop.  Yep, the needle was below “E” if that’s possible.

Image Source:  www.automopedia.org

I sat for a few minutes, wondering what to do.  I decided to get out and walk to the exit ramp, go to the Exxon station and call my daddy.  Before I took more than ten steps, a pick-up truck slowed down and pulled up in front of my car.  It was the grandfather of one of my students (and the janitor at Eastover-Central Elementary School).  Once I told him what the problem was, he advised me to get back in the car, lock it, and he’d be right back.  In about twenty minutes, he was back with a full gas can and poured it all into my gas tank. The car started right up.  He wouldn’t even let me pay him!  Leon Patterson was an angel that day.  (As I later found out, he couldn’t really afford to be as generous as he’d been that October afternoon.  So, I made sure he always got extra goodies from me at Christmas and any other holidays that came throughout the year.)

I could have run out of gas on another road or at a different place along the highway that Mr. Patterson might never have passed.  Or I could have been driving my parents’ car that day, which Mr. Patterson would never have recognized.  But it was just the right spot and in the car Mr. Patterson knew belonged to me.  He found me along a highway in a situation that could have been dangerous.  In my heart, I know God sent me Leon Patterson that day.

Image Source:  www.touch-the-flame.deviantart.com

God sees us running around under our own steam.  He sees that our tanks are getting to that dangerous “below empty” level.  He’s just waiting for us to run out of gas and turn to Him for strength and solace and comfort — to give up the burden and take His lightness to our souls.

So, today — even though there was a storm raging in my heart — I just took a little time for Him.  I let Kelly run a couple of errands for me on his way home from work instead of dragging myself out of the house to do it.  I sang as I swept the kitchen (and grimaced at the amount of dirt that can accumulate in just a couple of days) and in between songs,  I spent a lot of time praying.  I sat down and played hymns on the piano.  I listened to my favorite Christian radio stations.

Image Source:  www.amerigas.

And Natalie Grant was singing my song.  So, I thought I’d share it with you, even though it’s late.  Who knows?  Even though the calm has finally come to my house, the storm may be raging at yours.  Just remember God made those winds, and He can control them.  Just let Him.

shr

“Hurricane” (Natalie Grant)

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A Very Special Music Monday: Like My Mother Does

Image Source:  www.quotesandwishes.com

I love you, Mama.  We are so much alike it’s scary…but in a good way.  Linda Hall, you are my best friend and role model. You taught me to be a good daughter by watching how you loved and cared for your own mother, my Granny Mae.  You taught me that a mother-in-law can be a source of joy through the relationship I watched you have with my Granny Brook. I realize that because Betty died so soon after Kelly and I were engaged, I’ve missed having her as a source of strength, example, and faith.  Thank you for loving Kelly like he was your own son.  You’ve made such a difference in his life.

My children love you.  You did the job of two grandmothers because you knew that Betty couldn’t be here to share the task with you.  You have offered them your love and advice.  The fact that Claire still gets up on Saturday mornings to have her weekly shot of “Grammy” time is a testimony to the great love and respect she has for you.  The fact that Steven waited so patiently (okay — maybe not-so-patiently) for your rental house to become available so that he could raise his family in the place where he was raised is a testament to our family’s great love and support of each other.  And even thought Martin is still living at home, working on his education, it means a great deal to him to be able to walk over anytime and see you.  I know their adoption papers say that they are not blood-related to you, but your spirit flows through their veins and your influence has shaped the persons they’re becoming.

Four Generations:  My Mom and Joshlyn (center), Steven (right), and Me (left)

Photo Source:  Sandra Hall Rosser

I’ve watched you struggle with eyesight issues all of my life.  Of course, I didn’t know you were handicapped until I was in high school.  You could do everything, except drive, and I just thought Granny Mae drove us everywhere because she loved being with us.  You play the piano like a professional and have been the pianist at Judson Baptist Church for fifty-four years.  You worked as a teacher’s assistant in the Cumberland County Schools and touched hundreds of children’s lives with your love and Christian influence.

You’ve seen me through bad choices, rough situations, emotionally crippling times, and countless other faults and sins I’ve endured in my fifty-one years.  Although I didn’t always appreciate your advice when I was younger, the older I get, the more I realize that you were right more times than you were wrong.  Even when you were wrong, you admitted it, and that made an impact on me.  As a parent, I’ve made countless errors, but I always admit when I’m wrong because it lets my kids know that I am human and need forgiveness.  I’ve even begun to hear that phrase that is music to my ears:  “You were right, Mom!”

In wishing my Mama a happy birthday, I have to acknowledge two other very important women who added to my spiritual and emotional education:  Eula Mae Carter (my maternal grandmother) and Mary Alice Westbrook (my paternal grandmother). I lost them over a decade ago.  Granny Mae’s birthday would have been on September 5.  Granny Brook’s birthday would have been on September 7.  I believe that I have received wonderful traits from my “September Superwomen.”

She watches over her family
    and never wastes her time.
Her children speak well of her.
Her husband also praises her,
   saying, “There are many fine women,
    but you are better than all of them.”
Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you,
    but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned;
    she should be praised in public for what she has done.                                                                                            (Proverbs 31:27-31, NCV)

My Granny Mae was a woman after God’s own heart.  She lived right beside my family as I was growing up.  My greatest memory associated with her is that she always had her Bible on the kitchen table and open to whatever she was studying.  I had the great privilege of having her as my senior high Sunday school teacher.  She lost the love of her life in her fifties and never re-married.  She worked hard all her life.  She loved me unconditionally but she never minded telling me when she thought I was wrong.  She was a woman who kept her opinions about other people close to the vest — not much of a gossip.  (Sorry, Granny Mae.  I’m striving to be more like that daily.)

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Three Generations:  Granny Mae (center), Mama (right), and Me (left)

Photo Source:  Reflections Photography/Diane Atkinson

She was the reason I was able to participate in any after school activities.  Because my mom was visually impaired (and I was not aware of the ramifications of this until I got my own driver’s license at sixteen), she and Granny Mae made sure I could stay for chorus, cheerleading practice, and any other activity where the school bus couldn’t take me home.  I cherish those times — the three of us coming home from school, sharing what kind of day I’d had with two of the three most important women in my life.

The thing I’ll never forget about her is that when Martin and Steven first came to live with us, she started making breakfast for them on Saturday mornings.  “I don’t know how long they’ll be with us,” she said.  “But we’re going to make memories while we can.”  When we found out that we could actually adopt them, the Saturday morning breakfasts continued and family from all over the neighborhood began to show up.  It was like a having mini-family reunion every week.  I miss that.

My Granny Brook was also a woman after God’s own heart.  She did not believe in mincing her words — you knew exactly where you stood with Alice Westbrook.  She lost her first husband when my father was two years old and married my Granddaddy Percy, who loved my daddy like he was his own child.  Living directly across the street from her while I was growing up meant that I could visit anytime I wanted.  She always had a garden and the best-stocked freezer!  Summer corn and butter beans in February was always a treat.  My husband says she made the best fried chicken, corn, and butter beans ever cooked on this planet.

IMGGranny Brook (left) and Daddy (right)

Photo Source:  Sandra Hall Rosser

The thing for which I’ll always be grateful is that she lent me the money to go college.  My tuition wasn’t much by today’s standards, but it was more than I could manage without a loan in 1980.  She loaned me the money, interest free.  She was proud that I would be the first college graduate in our family and that I wanted to be a teacher.  She loved my children and they loved her.  Martin and Steven got spend more time with her because they were ten and eleven when she died.  She and my grandfather used to take them to the Autryville Cafe for lunch.  Steven always called it “The Chicken House” because he always got a chicken leg and french fries for his meal.

Claire was only four when my grandmothers died.  Her memories are sketchy, so I always tell her stories.  My Granny Mae and Granny Brook considered her their “little princess” and no great-granddaughter was ever loved more.  I remind her that her middle name, Melinda, is a combination of her grandmothers’ names: “M” from Mary Alice, “E” from Eula Mae, and “Linda,” which is my mother’s name.  She carries a huge legacy in that name and she is proving to be a smart, strong, God-fearing young lady.

It’s my mother’s birthday.  I want to have her around for years to come.  The song I’ve chosen today is not necessarily sacred on face value, but the underlying meaning is sacred for me.  It’s generational in nature because I am what my mother is because she is what my Granny Mae was.

Happy birthday, Mama.  I don’t mind being told that I do things “like my mother does.”  It’s a great compliment.  I hope I make you proud.

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“Like My Mother Does” (Lauren Alaina)

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Weight Loss Wisdom 2: Seven “Stress-Less” Steps to Slimming Serenity

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Cortisol — it’s both friend and  foe to the body.  It’s a steroid hormone and more specific, a glucocorticoid produced by the adrenal glands.  Its job is to raise blood sugar, suppress the immune system, and aid in fat, protein, and carbohydrate metabolism.  To read more about cortisol, here is an link that has a far better explanation that I can provide in a few words.

Like most things, too much cortisol isn’t good for us, especially women.  When stress causes cortisol to be released into our bloodstream, too much of it can cause fats and sugars to be deposited around your belly, hips, and thighs.  Over the past few months, I’ve picked up some ways to reduce to stress that comes in daily living:  lots of prayer, a good eating plan, exercise, breathing, and taking some time for myself.  I know a lot of us do these things.

Here are other ways I’ve found that reduce my stress levels, which you might never have heard before:

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1.  A Rosemary by any Other Name

The scent of rosemary calms the brain’s anxiety center.  In as little as two minutes, sniffing rosemary oil (an essential oil found in health food stores) can stop stress surges dead in their tracks.  (I have also made a rosemary sachet using a toddler’s white cotton sock, filling it with four to six tablespoons of dried rosemary and tied at the open end.  I always make sure to crush the dried rosemary in the palm of my hand or with a mortar and pestle before adding it to the sock. This releases its essential oils.)

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2.  Take a Chill Pill

A recent Canadian study has shown that if you take a regular-strength acetaminophen tablet twenty minutes before stressful events (like public speaking or being around people with whom you don’t necessarily get along), it seems to lower anxiety levels.  Preliminary results show that the acetaminophen interrupts brain signals that cause psychological distress.  (And it’s easier to obtain and less expensive than Xanax!)  Of course, you should always check with your doctor because too much acetaminophen isn’t good for your liver.

Image Source:  http://30daysofdoodle.blogspot.com

3.  Doodle for Your Noodle

Distract your brain and start those soothing alpha waves flowing by doodling for two or more minutes.  You don’t need to be a great artist like Karen Palmer to get great results.  Even something as simple as drawing circles, squares, and triangles and shading them in seems to lower your stress hormones.

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4.  Put Down the Phone and Step Away from the Computer

Taking regular breaks from your cell phone or computer can lower stress in as little as twenty-four hours.  Try turning them off during coffee breaks, meals, and family time to decrease the cortisol release from your adrenal glands.

Image Source:  http://psalm168.wordpress.com/author/kaceyterry

5.  Give a Girl or Guy a Fish…

And both will lower their blood pressure, which will in turn reduce their stress levels in every area of their body.  Daily fish oil supplements are a good source of Omega 3 fatty acid and help reduce blood pressure.  Another, more tasty way, to get this effect is to eat two to three ounces of fish at least three times a week.

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6.  Find Your “Hunger Kill” on Blueberry Hill

Feeling hungry increases your stress level.  Blueberries are an excellent source of antioxidants, fiber, and natural sweetness that contribute to the feeling of satiation for which we long. A 3/4 cup serving of fresh blueberries (frozen will do in a pinch) and a small handful of raw almonds as your afternoon snack will activate the receptors in your small intestine that signal the brain that you’re full.

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7.  Make a List and Check It Twice

Pre-planning a busy day by making a list of chores or activities can ease your worries.  Checking each off the list once the chore or activity is complete gives you a sense of accomplishment.  That sense of accomplishment can be a calming effect on your nerves.  When your list is finished, display it in a prominent place so you can see how much you’ve gotten done and continue the calming effect.  If you don’t get to all the items on your list, start a new list for tomorrow with anything you don’t get done today.  More importantly, don’t stress the small stuff.

Sources of information:  Psychiatry Research Journal, Woman’s World Magazine, Health Magazine, Self Magazine

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It Takes Two (But More is Better)

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Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together.  If one falls down, the other can help him up.  But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NCV)

Have you ever had to do a big job all by yourself?  It might have seemed overwhelming to you.  You may have fretted over how long it would take you to get it done.  You may have stressed over time restraints or requirements for the job that made you want to quit, or at best, pull your hair out.

Ever had someone offer to help you get that task completed?  Didn’t it feel good not to have to shoulder the burden all by yourself?  Did your attitude immediately improve?  Did finishing the job with the aid of a helper even make the job more enjoyable?  Dare I say, fun?

The idea that two people working together can accomplish more than one person by himself/herself isn’t new but in today’s “all about me” society, it’s kind of gotten lost.  Part of the problem seems to be that if your share the work load and it has a successful outcome, then you have to share the prize at the end of the journey — be it something physical or simply words of affirmation that it was a job well done.  We, as the whole of society, are not good at sharing.

We need to get away from this kind of thinking.  I am proud to say that I attend a church where people love to work together.  Everyone has a part in the success (or failure) of the mission of our church.  We look to our pastor for guidance and support, but we all have jobs that are necessary for the good works of the Kingdom of God.  How absurd would it be if the pastor of our church greeted the congregants, taught the Sunday school classes, counted the offering, led the singing, played the piano, took up the offering, kept the nursery, and preached the sermon in our service?  No pastor I know would (or could) do all those things by himself.

Jesus calls us to be in each others’ corners.  We help when we’re asked, but we should also offer to help without being asked.  Jesus asked His disciples to follow Him and help Him spread the gospel.  When He left this earth, He asked them to carry on with that same work.  That’s our goal today.

I have to tell you that I depend on many people to help me in my life.  We work together as friends and family to do far more than we could accomplish if we worked singularly.  I fall down a lot and I need people to lift me up.  How sad would it be if I was down and out, reaching out to people for help and support, and NO ONE responded?

One of the reasons I’ve had success in losing weight is because I’ve made myself accountable to other people.  I’ve shared my successes and failures.  I’ve asked for ideas to help me get my temple in better working order.  I admit when I fail (and I fail many times a day).  I pass on encouragement when I can.  In fact, I offer encouragement to many people about many things because God encourages me daily.

And you know what?  No one has ever said to me, “Just stop!  Stop making me feel better!  Stop telling me that you understand the crisis I’m in!  Stop telling me you love me no matter what!  Stop showing me kindness!  Don’t you dare offer me any hope!  And while we’re on the subject, stop praying for me!  How dare you talk to God about me behind my back?”

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Besides belonging to a really great body of believers in Christ, I have the ultimate support of my family and I am also in two great weight loss support groups.  These are ladies and gentlemen who have walked many miles the same kind of walking shoes I’m wearing.  If you don’t have anyone who gives you support and you’re struggling, I can help.  I promise to care because that is how God programmed me.  I care about people.  I care about you.

My message is this:  you don’t have to go it alone.  You don’t have to face this big, scary, ruthless world all by yourself.  The more people you open yourself to, the more you will gain in return.  What you may find is that while you started reaching our to receive, you just may make it your mission in life to give.  You can’t receive or give all by yourself.  It really does take two — but more is even better.

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Check out these great groups and make sure to tell Karen and Jackie that I sent you!

Get Skinny & Healthy with Karen and Jax Skinny Friends

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