If you read LBTK regularly, you may have noticed that this post is a little late, with good reason. Sunday afternoon, I completely lost my voice and the sore throat I already had, became more uncomfortable and painful. By yesterday morning, I had also added a low-grade fever and a general “yucky” feeling all over. So I went to the doctor…and tested positive for strep throat! I can’t remember the last time I had strep throat!
As I got ready for my appointment, I looked into my bathroom mirror and took a quick assessment of what I saw. The very first thought that ran through my mind was “I am fat and ugly.” Then I listed everything I saw that supported my assessment: dark circles under the eyes, puffy checks, double chin, thinning hair (wild from tossing back and forth as I slept), crooked nose. The only saving graces I saw were that I love my blue eyes and I have very few wrinkles. These two characteristics made me smile — until I realized that it’s possibly the fat in my face that is filling out the wrinkles! Blue eyes, schmoo eyes — they were bloodshot and matted with eye boogars! Again, I was thoroughly disgusted.
So, off I went to the doctor and frankly, I sulked the entire way. I was pulling into the parking lot of the doctor’s office when “Beautiful” by MercyMe started playing on one of my favorite radio stations, WCLN 107.3. I sat and listened to the entire song before going in. I was thinking about Claire. “Beautiful” is my prayer-song for Claire. She is so impressionable at this point in her life. I often pray the lyrics of the chorus for her:
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You are made for so much more than all of this.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His.
I entered the reception area with this song on my mind. When the nurse called me back, the song stopped playing and I started to focus on the part of the doctor’s exam I consider a form of torture — the weigh-in. I have often thought I’d rather take a bullet than have to weigh-in at the doctor’s office.
I shared in February that I have decided to make a lifestyle change — adopting health-eating habits and adding more physical exercise to my routine — so that I can avoid some health problems to which I may be genetically predisposed: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, and heart disease. And to be perfectly honest, to lose weight so that I’ll look better in a dress when that whole renewing-of-the-vow thing rolls around in October.
My mom, dad, Kelly, and I are weighing-in every Monday morning and reporting to each other about our progress. Having to “check in” with other people has really motivated me to stick with my plan and have the courage of my convictions. I have been losing weight slowly and steadily. But yesterday morning when I was feeling so rotten, I forgot to weigh at home. Looking at the doctor’s scale, I started to panic just a little. Okay, maybe I panicked a lot considering that my heart rate was up and my blood pressure registered higher than normal.
When I stepped on the scale, I closed my eyes and held my breath. (Hey, who knows how much an intake of new breath weighs? I take no chances!) While the nurse fiddled with the knobs, “Beautiful” started playing in my mind again, only this time, the prompting of the Holy Spirit encouraged me to claim its message for myself. I suddenly felt every muscle in my body relax. I was concentrating so much on how beautiful I am to God, the nurse had to ask me to step off the scale twice. And I had to ask her what I weighed.
Now, I am going to do something that is brave or stupid — you can be the judge. I’m going to share my starting weight and my current weight with you. If I can be accountable to God and three other people on a weekly basis, I can be accountable to all of you once a month. This is an exercise in faith — faith in God that He will help me meet my goal weight of 155 pounds and faith in you, that you will support me with your prayers. Ready?
On February 27, 2012, my starting weight was 204 pounds. My current weight, as of March 26, 2012, is 196.6 pounds. That’s a loss of 7.4 pounds in a month. I’m giving all the glory and praise to my Father in heaven because He is the one I turn to at ten o’clock at night when I want to plow through my fridge or cupboard and devour a thousand calories because I’m having a craving. It’s His messages from the Bible that comes to mind when I don’t want to exercise. It’s His strength that is the greatest when I am at my weakest. For I can do everything through Christ, Who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 (NLT)
Since I am asking for your prayers, I want to tell you that you can send me your prayer requests as well. You can leave your request as a comment or send it to me privately at firstname.lastname@example.org I already have a prayer notebook designated just for you!
I want to know what losing 49 pounds looks like, so I had Kelly take a “before” picture of me. Although I am a little scared, I feel led to share this picture with you for two reasons: so that those of you who don’t know me outside the blogging world will know that I am who I say I am and so that if you’re like me and need to know that you’re not alone in this, you will have a touchstone. Here I am:
I chose this video of “Beautiful” because it shares the words on the screen to accompany the music. When you listen, pray the words of this song for yourself. Above all, remember that Jesus is totally in love with you, just as you are. You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His. You’re beautiful.
P.S. I want to thank my fellow WordPress blogger, Fiona, for nominating this blog for the “Beautiful Blogger Award,” as seen below. You can read her amazing blog at http://oilofjoyandgarmentsofpraise.wordpress.com/ I humbly accept the nomination. (And if anyone has an idea of how I can put this award in a sidebar on my page, please get in touch with me, as I am completely lost on how to proceed with this!) Since it’s my job to nominate other bloggers for this award, I will list them below the picture of the award and give you links so that you can check out all the wonderful things these people are posting.
If you read anything in LBTK that has any meaning, please know it’s God working through me. I am nothing on my own. “Humanly speaking, it is impossible; But with God, everything is possible. Matthew 19:26 (NLT) Again, I give Him all the praise and glory. I am His servant.
Jodie Bailey: Faith and Fiction with a Touch of Southern Grace www.jodiebailey.com
Thoughts from the Porch http://aprilhawk.wordpress.com/
Momentum of Joy http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com
Lori Schulz http://lorischulz.wordpress.com/
Anna’s One Life http://annasonelife.wordpress.com/
At Least We Made it This Far… http://trishadm.wordpress.com/
Brave Fish http://identitylovefaith.wordpress.com/
Dear “Beautiful Blogger” Award Winners: You inspire me. Your words are beautiful, thus the reason you’re receiving this award. It is now your job to pass this award on to seven (or less) other bloggers along with links to their blogs. Post the award and provide a link back to the person who nominated you. Thank you for making a difference in my life. Keep writing!
“Beautiful” (MercyMe) “http://www.youtube.com/embed/8WnAq0o2Xl8?rel=0”
Related Articles: “How Can I Keep from Singing: His Strength is Perfect” http://wp.me/p22liv-7b
“I Love Myself…And That’s a Bad Thing” http://pewtopractice.wordpress.com/2011/06/01/i-love-myself-and-thats-a-bad-thing/
“A Quick Thought for the Day — I AM NOT HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS!” http://nightshade130.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/a-quick-thought-for-the-day-i-am-not-having-an-identity-crisis/
“Silvi’s ‘Jesus Book'” http://christianinamerica.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/jesus-book/
“Day 84: Do You Know What You Eat?” http://busymomof03.org/2012/03/26/day-84-know-what-you-eat/